Harvard PhD graduate insults his roommate's “lesser college” degree, then gets exposed when he struggles to figure out how to use the new can opener: ‘I’d find mangled cans in the garbage’

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 23, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Doctors and PhD grads don't always have the best life skills. So when this proud Harvard graduate, who loved to rub his degree in everyone's face, couldn't figure out how to use a simple kitchen utensil, suddenly the tables turned on who was the smartest in the household. Hilariously, their roommate, who was also a PhD grad, was able to put their functional brain to the test, maliciously complying with their roommate's demands before making a point about his useless Ivy League degree. 

Turns out, they don't teach you simple engineering mechanics at Harvard; they only teach you how to gloat. 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10544332032
    via anthony_taylor
  • Roommate broke my can opener, so I bought a new one that I knew I could figure out how to use.
    via Gabyfest234
  • So, I rent rooms out in my house. I generally do it with friends or friends of friends. A couple years ago, I had this roommate who was the ex-husband of a friend of mine and I felt sorry for him so gave him a discount on rent (he still
    via Gabyfest234
  • fell behind, but that's a totally different malicious compliance story). He was the worst roommate I've ever had for many reasons. But, for this account, he was pretty much living off of canned food when he wasn't stealing my food. And he used my can opener every day.
    via Gabyfest234

  • There are all kinds of different kinds of “smarts.” Some people are book smart, some people are worldly, and others just got their college acceptance letter from Mommy and Daddy's country club connections. While the world of academia likes to put each other down for their smarts, funnily enough, many academics miss the point of their intelligence application. And in this case, when a man couldn't even figure out how to use a can opener that a monkey could manage, he suddenly regretted all of those years of belittling his roomie's lesser collegiate degree. 

  • 1/3
    via cglade
  • Well, he broke it. And he came to me and TOLD me that as landlord, I needed to get a new can opener! Before I get to the malicious compliance, let me add: He was very proud of his Harvard PhD. He didn't
    via Gabyfest234
  • use it in his minimum-wage job, but he never avoided an opportunity to remind me that my PhD was from a state school and his was from Harvard. Note, I was working in the career that used my PhD knowledge, and the program I
    via Gabyfest234
  • went to has several Nobel Laureates. And I've worked with some of them. My roommate was pretty much a failure in life and had slipped into leeching off others to survive. He had no marketable skills.
    via Gabyfest234
  • Anyway, the malicious compliance: I bought a new can opener. But, I got one that is really tricky to use. It basically works like an electric can opener but is manual. I knew there was no way this incompetent roommate would be able to figure out how to use it. And he couldn't. I'd find mangled cans in the garbage (not even recycling!).
    via Gabyfest234
  • He came to me and asked how to use the can opener. My response: A guy with a Harvard degree should certainly be able to figure that out on his own, if I guy like me can.
    via Gabyfest234
  • Cheezburger Image 10544332544
    via Katerina Holmes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • avid-learner-bot⚫ If a guy with a Harvard PhD couldn't figure out how to use a can opener, maybe he should stick to opening cans with a spoon... or at least ask for help before bragging about his degree. What's next, solving world hunger with a paperclip?
    via avid-learner-bot
  • DoctorPainless How do you know when someone's gone to Harvard? Don't worry. They'll tell you.
    via DoctorPainless
  • The NOW Gabyfest234 OP Here's the can opener I bought.
    via Gabyfest234
  • silky_string⚫ I love that you had some satisfaction from that, and seeing how you felt bad and gave him more than a hand (without any appreciation by the sounds of it), I think it's understandable. But the whole story just sounds sad to me, idk. How does someone who successfully works his way through a PhD, at Harvard nonetheless, become a failure in life, with no marketable skills?
    via silky_string
  • Gabyfest234 OP. It was incredible. It's like he wasn't good enough to survive in academia, but had no useable skills in the real world. His minimum wage job was tutoring students online on high school subjects and SAT testing strategies. And as loud as he was tutoring at 2 am to students in very different time zones, the stuff he was saying was often blatantly wrong.
    via Gabyfest234
  • wraithnix. I have had the misfortune to know a few Harvard grads, and this story does not surprise me at all. For every person there that got there on merit, there are three that got there on connections and family. Nepotism for the win, apparently.
    via wraithnix
  • nhinman2020. The thing about colleges like Harvard is that they aren't actually good at teaching, just good at picking students that will probably succeed. 98% of their students graduate, and this is with a lot of kids with rich connected parents, who never had to work a day in their lives. They still graduate, what does that tell you?
    via nhinman2020
  • Silansi Adding to the other points, PhDs can be a no- win scenario - you outskill yourself out of most low paying jobs, while a good chunk of jobs related to PhD levels are short term contracts requiring heavy time commitment (if you can get them at all). It can basically you from both angles unless you have something to stand against the crowd or have network contacts for something reliable.
    via Silansi
  • Estelahe . I know a Harvard PhD in STEM, no less, that went on to be a bartender. My mentors made sure I developed marketable skills and knew of many career paths, but tons of research professors don't put in that effort. I had some major life setbacks after graduating (PhD programs aren't known for being GOOD for your mental health), which is more common than you'd expect. I landed a job in my field after recovering, but it took a couple years.
    via Estelahe
  • Tlyss⚫ If you have a PHD from Harvard and you're working minimum wage that's not a flex. It's kind of saying "guess how incompetent I am"
    via Tlyss

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smooch deserved malicious compliance bad roommates mooching reddit thread Reddit roommates payback can opener
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